Well today was a normal day. it was the first Friday of our days back. things have been going okay... i mean, come on, its school. So it cant be all that great. my classes turned out not to be a total flop over. i ended up droping weights then i took body works, which is like an aerobics class. so its alot better then getting all ripped : ).
Since about three days ago, on tuesday, ashley left me at the school. she claimed that i was talking to bernie at his locker, she was yelling at me... and i didnt talk back so she assumed that he was giving me a ride home. even though she knows that he has soccer every day after school, and that she is my ride home. so i go out to the parking lot thinking that she is probably waiting at her car for me. and well... she wasnt there. i was like OMG! so i looked around for her car, and i saw her and rachael speed off. I was soooo fucking pissed. so i saw another one of my friends and she brought me home.
so i get home and call ashleys house and leave a message. she gets home like 5 mins later and doesn't really say anything. then i was like uh bitch, you left me at school. and then she made up this bullshit about how she was talking to me or whatever. so i told my ma what is goin on, and she said to just get a ride home with someone else. so i rode home with ashley another day, then i decided to ditch her and rachael for anything. then we go to lunch the next day and she is like, "Rachael, can you believe Jaime got all pissed when we left her at school the other day." I was like OMFucking GOD what the hell is wrong with you!!! do you not realize that, that is really mean to do to someone.
so today i got a ride home with christina. then ashley calls like 10 minutes after i get home and says she looked all over the school for me for 25 minutes. which who knows if she was lying or not. then i was like well i have just decided to get a ride home with christina from now on... and she was all ookay. She was all, are you pissed? and i said no, but she has done some shitty stuff to me this week. and she was like "OKAY so i forgot you once at school... you would have just said 'O, sorry we all make mistakes' and got over it, and now you are pissed at me." So i was like what the fuck ever ashley, just go. She keeps changing her story, first it is that she was yelling my name, then it is that she just forgot... so i think she should get her lie straight.
well i tried to go over to her house to work things out. tell her that i dont know how much she truly cares about me as a friend. if she isnt going to wait for me after classes, and she isnt going to wait for me after school. i have always thought things like that were no brainers for best friends, but i guess all along i have been the fool. I guess what i thought of to be best friends isn't there.
its hard to think for 6 years of your life that you have someone by your side, then one day you realize the only one who has been by your side is you. i feel stupid for thinking that we had something beyond other friends... but there isn't. i guess it had to happen sometime, truth sucks, but its better now then wait another 6 years.
so i am on a mission to make more close friends. maybe we had been friends for so long just because there was no one else to lean on, i was kinna shy. i am going to just be open to people, be who i am... and hang out with who ever.
atleast i know who i want to keep for life is by my side, and this time i know it. he's wonderfull, and if i loose him then wow.... i would just have to move for something. start a new life where i am not the fool. but that wont happen : )..
well i am out for now.
meag- e-mail me!